This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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