If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
