I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
