sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Randomize
