Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
