I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
