I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
