I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
