Whod you bang
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
