There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
