Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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