He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
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