omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
