Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
