I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
