I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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