You're my little dorito
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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