erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
