the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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