Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
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