my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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