She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
