i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
As shirtless as possible
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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