I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize