Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
