If i come over, it means nothing
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Randomize
