I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Randomize
