If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
