He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
