You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
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