I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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