next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Randomize
