The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Pooping to opera.
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