there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
