wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
It's blow job season.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
