And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
soo... how was my night?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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