We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
