They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Randomize
