Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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