Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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