Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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