Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
