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I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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