Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
