HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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