Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
farters have to be the big spoon...
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
