I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
