That's intense
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize