Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
He did a backflip because drugs
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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