The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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