i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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