i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
