I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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