I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize