I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
