She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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