You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
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