We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
