Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
