Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
