i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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