I'm going to rape someone's good day.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
then he tried to convert me to islam
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
